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Is it just me...
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3:11PM, Wednesday, 29 Apr, 2009
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Or are people who live online amazingly thick? I'm just asking. Honestly, I even warned people that today's column was complete and utter bull, and they still get sucked in. Even alleged 'medical doctors'. My word.
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Hey! How about some poetry. Who knew I was so cultured.
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3:05PM, Wednesday, 29 Apr, 2009
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One of my favourites. Yeats. Wonderful stuff.
THE SECOND COMING Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. Surely some revelation is at hand; Surely the Second Coming is at hand. The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand; Ashape with lion body and the head of a man, Agaze blank and pitiless as the sun, Ismoving its slow thighs, while all about it Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds. The darkness drops again but now I know That twenty centuries of stony sleep Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
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Bad piggy
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11:27AM, Wednesday, 29 Apr, 2009
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Wow, I forgot I actually still had this thing.
So ja, pig flu. Not so good for your health apparently. That's why we should eat more bacon. Less chance of flu being transmitted.
Meanwhile, normal flu, TB (especially here), etv, malaria, boredom and so on continues to kill people without even a panicked mention. So it goes. No news is good news, but new news certainly gets you talking. For about three seconds.
Oh look, what's that. A butterfly.
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What to Smell?
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10:55AM, Tuesday, 24 Mar, 2009
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I need a new fragrance. My last drop has been sprayed, and I'm starting to smell.
I was using DKNY Apple and DKNY Original. I have plenty of Fahrenheit, but that's definitely an evening smell.
I use to wear Davidoff Cool Waters, and i'm thinking of heading that way. But I'm not sure If I want to go forward or backwards.
It's a tough decision. The amount of action my bedroom sees this weekend depends on it.
Please help.
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Superman and his Enormous Blue Cock
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3:38PM, Wednesday, 18 Mar, 2009
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What can I say. It's a slow day in the office.
Quiz time R10 if any of you know what a neologism is, and which writer is famous for creating most of them. I'm gonna try and use/make-up as many as I can in next week's column.
PS Colleen Figg is not allowed to answer the above question. If she does, she can't have the R10.
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That sinking feeling
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10:18PM, Tuesday, 17 Mar, 2009
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Just so my 31 loyal fans don't think I honestly surf all morning and work for 30 minutes a day, here I am, still in the office... but anyway...
You know what I hate?
I hate it when things come to an end. More specifically, relationships. I hate that feeling when you've gone from laughing, sharing, joking (and in-joking), making fun of people together, turning your noses up together at the same things, cracking the same tired old jokes that get a tired old laugh - not becuase they're funny anymore, but because the act of continuing with the same stupid joke has now become the joke. I hate it when all of that goes away.
I hate it that we can fall out of love as abruptly as we fall in love.
It really makes my heart sink. It makes my heart heavy and brittle and feeling not like it's sitting attached to anything in a ribcage, but rather like it's bobbing around aimlessly in the pit of my stomach. It has nowhere to go. Just floats around. Doing nothing, helping no one. One morning you wake up with a nice girlfriend, then one morning you don't. It's enough to make you pull your heart out and replace it with a couple of ice blocks.
You can fill your free time with bravado in front of your friends. But lonely silence knows how you really feel. That's why it does it's best to keep so quiet when you're staring into space.
Heartache is a bummer, man. It really is. I honestly think I've only got one more in me, then that's me out. Out.
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A punt in the right direction
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9:53AM, Tuesday, 17 Mar, 2009
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These two very nice girls accosted me on Friday night and asked me to give their 'advert' a punt in my column.
I can't do that, so this is the next best thing (even though only about three people read this).
Anyway, it's an ad for Yogi Sip, and I guess the more people who vote for their ad will help them win something of some sort. It's a bit daft, but they look like they're having fun.
You'll also be pleased to know, philanthropist that I am, I asked for nothing in return.
Go to www.yogisip.co.za
or here's the link direct to their ad http://www.yogisip.co.za/play.asp?id=236
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Here's a Tip for you...
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4:32PM, Monday, 16 Mar, 2009
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In case any would-be daters out there were wondering...
If you're going to try and impress a girl by doing a mountain bike race with her, make sure you do a full background check on her riding ability (and preferably don't do a mountain bike race the week after your legs exploded during the 'Argus').
Finishing 30 minutes after your intended target is not impressive. You might get some pity at the end, but certainly no love.

Naaah. Just kidding. I'm what you might call irrepresably charming. Not even a kak attempt at cycling can keep me down.
 <the successful rider rides off into the sunset (actually, forest) secure in the knowledge that he's performed miracles yet again>
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Just another slow start to the day in Cape Town
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12:30PM, Friday, 13 Mar, 2009
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... it's like that. Coz that's the way it is.

Friday 13th March, early morning
Traffic encountered: 0 cars Over-turned trucks: 0 Grumpiness: not a factor Water temp: Frigid, but crystal clear Deaths by Great White Shark: 0 Stess levels: Huh, what? I don't understand the question. Looking awesome while coming out of the surf: check Starting work at 11am: check Leaving as soon as this is posted: check
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We're actually all just frikkin' hilarious in my office...
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10:50AM, Friday, 13 Mar, 2009
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... But I'm the most cleverest with words.
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